I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
MIDGETS
????
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
