We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
This is the prime rib incident all over again
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize