Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I can't put those talents on a resume
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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