she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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