i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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