you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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