Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
