i think my mom watched the whole time
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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