Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
