I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
