You made me cry and you don't even care
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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