omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
That's how pantless uber rides happen
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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