bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
