honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
