So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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