so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
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