Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
