Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i will never coherently bang her
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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