17 year olds will be the death of me.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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