So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
