i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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