Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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