So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
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