we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
