Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
