sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
