No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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