smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
