Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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