In the future we'll all be gay
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize