Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize