You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
