rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
