My liver just broke up with me...
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
It's shark week go big or go home
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Randomize
