I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
