when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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