Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
