if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
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