Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Randomize
