I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
