My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
