3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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