D3 body, D1 cock
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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