so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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