i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
