I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
