I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
