After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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