STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize