I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Couch. On fire.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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