Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
