Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
