dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
