can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
