I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
