very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
