S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
