Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
