Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
You can't special order awesome
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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