I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
