What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
