So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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