from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
