so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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