She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
