yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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