drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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