At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
