oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
